what a bloody day

Had a really shit day, and feel even shittier.

Had my sis-in-law texting me, as she and my brother have had a falling out, he wasnt answering texts or emails, so worried about him as he was supposed to be home yesterday after a month away, to be home for an hour before leaving in a bad temper.

Arrrgghhh I could bang their bloody heads together.

I have had no sleep, worrying about him, so am exhausted, then with the texts etc, I got upset, and turned into the human dustbin.

Made quad choc brownies for the kids, not supposed to have any as full of dairy, so I feel really ill at the moment as I had 3 pieces before I realised what I was doing.


Thought I had my comfort eating under control, but apparently not.


Really really pissed off at myself.

I need to get a hang on myself again, and regain control.

someone please give me a kick!

I go and see the gynae on the 9/9/09.

I wanted there to be a big difference in my weight from seeing them in January. Just one bloomin stone! is all I have lost!! And that is from the injections they gave me to shut my ovaries down, as I have severe pcos, and my hormones were so far out of alignment I suffered from cluster migraines, but without a day off for over a year, as one was going, another was coming in, with the pain only varying in strength. (before the injections, I struggled to lose 2 stone in 2 years)

The migraine came back nearly 3 weeks ago, when the injections started to wear off, so I havent had a day off from pain, and my weight has gone up a bit too, despite going to the gym 3 times a week, for an hour at a time, plus walking there and back too!!!

So am starting core today, and seeing if that can help, but I fear it wont do any good, as my body doesnt work like it should.

Now when I go back, will they re-start the injections for another 9 months, or will they say sod it, and do a total hysterectomy?? I dont care either way to be honest. They had to confer with a specialist in London to find treatment as it was! It was some big shot in London that told them to give me the injections!!


Arrgghhh I hat my body!!! Why wont it work properly??

buggered it up again!!!

Sorry, but ballsed it up again!!!

I seem to be doing the drunkards way of losing weight, 3 lbs on, one pound off!!! Not exactly true, just stayed the same for the last 2 weeks, after using advice given, and having a blow out, and gaining instead of boosting my loss!!! aarrggghhh

Doesnt help that the injections are definitely wearing off, and I have been getting pains similar to period pains, oh well, maybe it wont be long before I actually get a period, havent had one since January!! bliss!! lol

Joined the Christmas Countdown Challenge to buck me up, but feel that I am disappointing the team be have had a sts this week. Eh?? First week and I get a sts. bugger.

I really need the bloke that does the big brother voice over to read this to you, it may make it more exciting!! pmsl

what a day

I am sat here, in tears.

I have had about 6 points today. Really sick. My head is fit to burst, and the gynae doesnt see it as an emergency, and I have to wait till my appointment in september, all the while I am existing in agony. I cant say living, as my life is on hold again.

I really cant go on like this anymore.

I know being upset is making the migraine worse, I have got the aura closing in on my left eye. Pretty soon I will lose my vision to it.

What if they wont give me the injections again??? Surely they wont stop the treatment that obviously works?? Will they???

I cant get to the gym in this condition, I am unsteady enough on my feet, never mind risking going in the car.


And to top it all, my neighbour is having her floor repaired, and they have been banging most of the day, and the noise and vibrations are going right through the house. Worse thing about living in a Victorian Terrace!!!


At least I may lose weight with not being able to eat - hang on - no I wont - this is me we are talking about. I could be in the Matrix with no mouth, and still pjut on bloomin weight!

sorry

Sorry it has been a while since I posted something. The shit has hit the fan as they say. Been trying to understand why someone I thought I knew, would go to such desperate lengths as to do Celeb slim, slimfast and alli, all at once, with no food whatsoever.

Really threw me off plan, I can tell you.

I didnt expect it from her, and she kept her distance so I wouldnt catch on to what she was doing, so I couldnt stop her.

Oh well, she is home now, and is seeing a shrink for help, and blames her gp for putting her under so much pressure to slim down.

Anyway, back to my task. I am so pissed off at the mo, as despite going to the gym 2/3 times a week, and writing absolutely everything that I eat or drink, I have sts for the last 5 weeks.

So fed up, I really am, all that effort for nothing!!!!

So if anyone knows why...... answers on a postcard please!!!! lol

Seriously, I dont know what to do for the best. I am working my hardest and getting no reward for the hard work, and at times is is such a bloody slog to go to the gym, and I did not enjoy it yesterday, I still put my all into the sessions, as what is the point of paying and not working hard???


uurrrgggghhhh such is life I suppose.